TODAY this wait got hard. I really didn't think this would happen to me. I work for the adoption agency!! I'm a pro at managing expectations!! Properly aligned expectations are supposed to help one cope, man!! I'm a trained pro-fes-sion-al!! I really did think I would escape excruciating heartache while waiting for my babies. So much for that!
The issue here is not that waiting before today was particularly easy. Since the moment we saw the face of our little Wyatt we've been ready to hold him in our arms. The same is true for Jubilee. We've counted down the days with properly aligned expectations (coping mechanism that is supposed to be effective and has been effective until now). "The wait" has been something I've prayed about from the beginning of this journey. I've sought the Word using the keyword "waiting", and I've listened to "While I'm waiting..." a million times, but I've kept my cool, y'all.
Until today....
Today I lost it. All by myself, in the car riding home from work, the tears rolled like rain. Though this process has been a year and four months in the making, three or four weeks seems unbearably far away right now. The tightness is my chest feels like more than just anticipation and longing. I've got to GO.
It won't be long now. Logically, I know this. Deep down in my heart, I know this. Lifeline is an amazing ministry staffed by people that love the Lord...people that are passionate about Jesus, the Gospel and children...people that cover one another and Lifeline families in prayer each and every day. I trust them with the details of Wyatt and Jubilee's adoptions - including the timeline to TA and CA and adoption day.
Tomorrow morning, I'm going to get up and be done with the cry fest and obsessive charting of adoption timelines I've fallen victim to. I'm not going to worry and fret and make poor Dean miserable running scenarios by him again and again. I am going to find joy in this wait, knowing that God knows the very moment I will hold my little ones in my arms for the first time. Self pep talk over!
Many blessings,
Tamara
The issue here is not that waiting before today was particularly easy. Since the moment we saw the face of our little Wyatt we've been ready to hold him in our arms. The same is true for Jubilee. We've counted down the days with properly aligned expectations (coping mechanism that is supposed to be effective and has been effective until now). "The wait" has been something I've prayed about from the beginning of this journey. I've sought the Word using the keyword "waiting", and I've listened to "While I'm waiting..." a million times, but I've kept my cool, y'all.
Until today....
Today I lost it. All by myself, in the car riding home from work, the tears rolled like rain. Though this process has been a year and four months in the making, three or four weeks seems unbearably far away right now. The tightness is my chest feels like more than just anticipation and longing. I've got to GO.
It won't be long now. Logically, I know this. Deep down in my heart, I know this. Lifeline is an amazing ministry staffed by people that love the Lord...people that are passionate about Jesus, the Gospel and children...people that cover one another and Lifeline families in prayer each and every day. I trust them with the details of Wyatt and Jubilee's adoptions - including the timeline to TA and CA and adoption day.
Tomorrow morning, I'm going to get up and be done with the cry fest and obsessive charting of adoption timelines I've fallen victim to. I'm not going to worry and fret and make poor Dean miserable running scenarios by him again and again. I am going to find joy in this wait, knowing that God knows the very moment I will hold my little ones in my arms for the first time. Self pep talk over!
Many blessings,
Tamara
Awwww Tamara! Im so sorry for you, I can not imagine the anticipation of waiting for these precious babies...Please know I am thinking of you and praying for you and Wyatt and Jubilee each and every day. hugs and kisses XOXOXOXOXO
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