Team Robinson has cabin fever, and let me tell you why! After an adoption it is recommended that a family cocoon at home for a good long while to help the new family jell. It's always a plus for the new kiddos to be able to pick their parents out of a lineup before heading out into the great big world. It's also a good idea to limit the number of visitors and avoid passing the younguns from one to another until their little heads have had time to make sense of this whole new world.
Bonding and attachment in adoption looks different for every child and family. There's no one right way to do things and no one method that works the same for every family. That being said, it is my experience (and it's backed up by lots of research and 7 adoptions) that staying home, keeping visitors to a minimum and taking time to focus on activities that facilitate bonding and attachment are effective ways to speed along a child's adjustment to the new family.
All that said, WE'RE GOING NUTS HERE! (And we've even been cocooning cheaters)! I'll get to the cheating later, but I must clarify that the babies are doing fabulously. The kids are all getting along as well as kids get along. We have a great routine and Team Robinson seems as happy as crickets in summertime. We are just going nuts because it's summertime and my peeps wanna go places!
Y'all know the ministry that God worked through to bring our kiddos home is wonderful, right? I'm not just saying that because I work with the Georgia team either. Not only was our adoption experience wonderful with Lifeline, but they have in place a post-adoption team that prays for and with families and is there for us through this time. They've spent countless hours researching, preparing training materials and providing families with tools and encouragement after an adoption. The team is committed to stretching and growing to meet the needs of families that have answered the call to care for children through adoption. We have been so appreciative of the love, wisdom and encouragement they've extended toward us as we prepared to travel and since we've returned home. What we've learned about attachment and bonding over the past 10 years, through all of our adoptions and since I've joined the Lifeline team, have positively impacted Wyatt and Jubilee's transition into our family. It was like a dream, really, and we are so thankful!
As much as we miss our church family, play days with friends, adventures at the park, and the food that comes from shopping excursions, more than anything in the world we want our kiddos to know the love and security of a mother and a father and the joy that comes from finding their place in the family. We want the hand of God to extend through us to our young ones, reaching them with healing and restoration, transforming them into sons and daughters. This takes time, and we know the time spent will yield a fruitful reward in the months and years to come.
I hate to let my Lifeline team down, but it's time for the confessions. I gotta be real, folks. I don't want you out there thinking we have some special ticket to cocooning sanity. Here goes. I cheat. There it is. You now know. I'm a cocooning cheater, and here's my story.
Confessions of a cocooning mother:
We've been to Don Chuchos TWICE.
It was the tacos, okay. They were calling us. Truthfully, Team Robinson can hardly go a week without eating Mexican food. Thanks to Tekila's, we even got to have our weekly Mexican night while in China. I tried to resist but it was just no use. We gave in to the pressure and packed up the van and drove the 45 miles it took to get there on two occasions. And we ate our tacos. And we're not even sorry!
We had company THRICE.
I hadn't seen my mommy and daddy in weeks, okay!! They had one of our children, y'all; they had to bring her back. (They were also in on our first taco run to Don Chuchos, so it's partly their fault we cheated anyway).
My organizer extraordinaire came over to finish up a few things she was doing at our house while we were gone. She must've had some coaching, though, because she followed all the rules for visitors as if they were posted. She didn't even try to hold a baby, and that had to be pretty hard because our babies are the cutest, cuddliest in the world!
It's tough to cocoon on Memorial Day....and we didn't!! We were having cousin withdrawals so some cousins drove down to see us. They brought with them a super fun slip and slide and the kids all had a great time playing in the yard.
We took a trip.
Last weekend we roadtripped to SC for a wedding, and I'm so glad we didn't miss it. Dean's sister Christine and her husband George were joined together in holy matrimony in a service that glorified the Lord beautifully. We are so happy for the precious couple! We were further blessed by Team Rylands, who scooted over their stuff and their children and made room for Team Robinson. They fed us, loved us, took us swimming and encouraged us on our journey SO much. The whole weekend was worth the guilt that I'm sure we'll feel coming on real soon.
That's it. The whole story. It's all out there. So what are two cocooning cheaters to do now? Well, it's like a healthy lifestyle. You cheat and then you return to what you know is good for your family and your children, and you try, try again. It's been three days since our last taco run. I'm starting to feel the pull of the highway, the need for some fellowship, the faces of loved ones. If y'all see me with my head hanging out the window and my hair blowing in the wind, just pray for us 'cause cabin fever is no joke!
If you've been there, done that - help Team Robinson out with some ideas to get through this time.
Bonding and attachment in adoption looks different for every child and family. There's no one right way to do things and no one method that works the same for every family. That being said, it is my experience (and it's backed up by lots of research and 7 adoptions) that staying home, keeping visitors to a minimum and taking time to focus on activities that facilitate bonding and attachment are effective ways to speed along a child's adjustment to the new family.
All that said, WE'RE GOING NUTS HERE! (And we've even been cocooning cheaters)! I'll get to the cheating later, but I must clarify that the babies are doing fabulously. The kids are all getting along as well as kids get along. We have a great routine and Team Robinson seems as happy as crickets in summertime. We are just going nuts because it's summertime and my peeps wanna go places!
Y'all know the ministry that God worked through to bring our kiddos home is wonderful, right? I'm not just saying that because I work with the Georgia team either. Not only was our adoption experience wonderful with Lifeline, but they have in place a post-adoption team that prays for and with families and is there for us through this time. They've spent countless hours researching, preparing training materials and providing families with tools and encouragement after an adoption. The team is committed to stretching and growing to meet the needs of families that have answered the call to care for children through adoption. We have been so appreciative of the love, wisdom and encouragement they've extended toward us as we prepared to travel and since we've returned home. What we've learned about attachment and bonding over the past 10 years, through all of our adoptions and since I've joined the Lifeline team, have positively impacted Wyatt and Jubilee's transition into our family. It was like a dream, really, and we are so thankful!
As much as we miss our church family, play days with friends, adventures at the park, and the food that comes from shopping excursions, more than anything in the world we want our kiddos to know the love and security of a mother and a father and the joy that comes from finding their place in the family. We want the hand of God to extend through us to our young ones, reaching them with healing and restoration, transforming them into sons and daughters. This takes time, and we know the time spent will yield a fruitful reward in the months and years to come.
I hate to let my Lifeline team down, but it's time for the confessions. I gotta be real, folks. I don't want you out there thinking we have some special ticket to cocooning sanity. Here goes. I cheat. There it is. You now know. I'm a cocooning cheater, and here's my story.
Confessions of a cocooning mother:
We've been to Don Chuchos TWICE.
It was the tacos, okay. They were calling us. Truthfully, Team Robinson can hardly go a week without eating Mexican food. Thanks to Tekila's, we even got to have our weekly Mexican night while in China. I tried to resist but it was just no use. We gave in to the pressure and packed up the van and drove the 45 miles it took to get there on two occasions. And we ate our tacos. And we're not even sorry!
We had company THRICE.
I hadn't seen my mommy and daddy in weeks, okay!! They had one of our children, y'all; they had to bring her back. (They were also in on our first taco run to Don Chuchos, so it's partly their fault we cheated anyway).
My organizer extraordinaire came over to finish up a few things she was doing at our house while we were gone. She must've had some coaching, though, because she followed all the rules for visitors as if they were posted. She didn't even try to hold a baby, and that had to be pretty hard because our babies are the cutest, cuddliest in the world!
It's tough to cocoon on Memorial Day....and we didn't!! We were having cousin withdrawals so some cousins drove down to see us. They brought with them a super fun slip and slide and the kids all had a great time playing in the yard.
We took a trip.
Last weekend we roadtripped to SC for a wedding, and I'm so glad we didn't miss it. Dean's sister Christine and her husband George were joined together in holy matrimony in a service that glorified the Lord beautifully. We are so happy for the precious couple! We were further blessed by Team Rylands, who scooted over their stuff and their children and made room for Team Robinson. They fed us, loved us, took us swimming and encouraged us on our journey SO much. The whole weekend was worth the guilt that I'm sure we'll feel coming on real soon.
That's it. The whole story. It's all out there. So what are two cocooning cheaters to do now? Well, it's like a healthy lifestyle. You cheat and then you return to what you know is good for your family and your children, and you try, try again. It's been three days since our last taco run. I'm starting to feel the pull of the highway, the need for some fellowship, the faces of loved ones. If y'all see me with my head hanging out the window and my hair blowing in the wind, just pray for us 'cause cabin fever is no joke!
If you've been there, done that - help Team Robinson out with some ideas to get through this time.
I have no idea how you've done it! I had to get out of the house every day with the kiddos, even if I loaded them up and went for a drive with them...I had to see life outside our four walls. We're adding to our family again, and I can see how the cocooning method helps. We will definitely be implementing it this time around. I just need to prepare myself for it so I don't go nuts!
ReplyDeleteI love these pics!!! I love this post and no I don't miss cabin fever!! Lil!
ReplyDeleteLOVE LOVE LOVE this post!!! Everyone just home needs to read and I need to write a similar post! Cocooning is HARD and LONELY but just like the WAIT... SO worth it!!! Thank you for doing adoption right and the cheating is normal and ok. Your kids will know their forever well... forever so a little cheating won't hurt a thing. Blessings and love! XOXOXOXOXO
ReplyDeleteThank you, Sharon. I can't read to read your take on cocooning! It's been hard in many ways but the fruits of our labor are visible and so encouraging. We're getting so used to being holed up here, we've found a ton of new things to do at home...things we wouldn't ever think of doing if we were galavanting around town. Loving this time with our babies! One of these days we'll have to cheat and get together!!
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